Idiosyncrasies....Time For Replacments?

Usually I think of idiosyncrasies as the building blocks of great personalities (usually), but I am starting to notice that some of mine may be a bit unhealthy. Of course everyone has their “thing” or multiple peculiarities, but there is a point to where it becomes a bit much.

Case in point: when someone begins to joke around about themselves in the third person – like John saying to Jim, “Well, how is Jim doing today?” and Jim responding, “Jim is doing awfully well, thank you very much.” Once can make a few people giggle at the absurdity of the joke, but when Jim starts to talk about himself in third person at least once a day, it becomes really lame.

The last example could just be performed by someone with a really bad sense of humor. So let’s say Donald is some 25 year old guy and a huge germophob. At first it just seemed sanitary, and all the girls thought he was different from all the other guys. He kept his room clean, and always washed his hands before cooking. One day, however, after he spent too many years being too meticulous, he refuses to take out the trash because he doesn’t want to touch it. That is going a bit too far.

That is an extreme case, but hey that’s what this generation is all about. All or nothing. One extreme or another.

Anyway, back to my unhealthy idiosyncrasies. Over the years I have groomed a few “things’ into full blown idiosyncrasies and I’m starting to wonder if I can break out of the mold. So let me just list a few…a few that I know myself and others contributed by Alex.

To begin, if I listen to a new musical artist for the first time and find that I enjoy his/her/their tunes then I almost always download/buy the CD and listen to it to exhaustion. How this started I have no idea, probably during my middle school days when I had nothing else to do except ignore my homework and my annoying little brothers.

But this did not stop when I entered high school or even college. In fact it has only gotten worse. For example, Alex introduced me to The Beatles (I know, I know, I got a late start) and I swear I played The Beatles for three months straight. And then I just couldn’t do it anymore. I had to take six months off before I could listen to them again.

A bit more concerning are the days when I get it into my head that I HAVE to buy something. I am not a shopaholic, but sometimes I will convince myself that I absolutely cannot live without something and I go on a rampage until I find exactly it. One week I will decide that I hate every pair of pants that I own, and I spend way too long trying to find a pair that I actually like.

Usually I am not successful, and my shopping kick is more annoying (for Alex and myself) than helpful. Nevertheless, I continue to spend days at the mall looking for something that I don’t actually need.

As for Alex’s first contribution, I get really when we do something new. He has pointed this out to me on many occasions, even though I never notice anything different. Supposedly when I get excited, I start to walk really fast and giggle way too much. When we were living in Beirut and on our way to a Jazz concert, Alex pointed it out to a whole group and I took every effort to conceal my excitement. His observations are correct, but I never notice them until he says something.

As for his second observation, which is probably a bit more annoying than the former, I can be a bit indecisive at time. But not the usual ambivalence that women tend to carry with them. I like to ask everyone’s opinions, to take them into consideration when making a decision, and then can’t make up my mind if there are any conflicting opinions.

Sometimes I am demanding and will only do things my way, but usually I am neutral and just want other people to make the decision. Even if it is just Alex and I, and we are deciding on what to do for dinner, I will ask him what he wants to do. Usually we will both not have a preference, but I will demand Alex make the decision. That goes the same for a group, and that usually creates a problem as I do not care to make a decision.

All these idiosyncrasies are trivial, and do not affect my overall functioning in society. It is interesting, rather, to dissect how I came to have these peculiarities and observe how they will evolve in the future. It’s fun to think about. Maybe I will work on getting some new ones. Hmm…sort of like shopping for new personality traits.

Idiosyncrasies are nothing to be embarrassed of, and I am not having a mid-life crisis that is making me rethink my whole self. But idiosyncrasies are just traits that we have allowed to consume ourselves. If I change my approach to new music I will not lose an overwhelming part of my personality. Maybe my experiment will be more revealing that I imagine it will be. It can’t hurt to make a concerted effort to break out of the mold and try out some new idiosyncrasies….can it?

Written in September, Posted for Memory

Am I feeling a bit sentimental? I am definitely feeling a bit lost in nostalgia. Perhaps it's the chamomile tea I'm sipping on, the Beatles-Elton-Sinatra-McGraw compilation I'm listening to or the overall feeling of relaxation coming over me as I lounge out on our balcony. Regardless, I've taken a break from studying and relapsed into the old me.

I'm surprised that I haven't gone through some life-changing transition. Take away all the experiences I can now put on my resume and nothing has changed. I'm unsure of what I expected to happen but it is a comfort knowing my "self" is tried and true.

Of course my politics are always adapting as I become more educated. Yets it's also comforting that I do not change when my politics do. Then again, ideas as abstract as politics have never meant much to me. Experiencing life in another country and being happy with my choices, that is meaningful.

No word less than awesome can describe the fact that I was able to travel across the world to live and not sacrifice the things I've kept over the years.

Alex and I were discussing culture the past few days. We mainly focused on the differences between countries labeled "highly developed" and their cultures and those "lesser developed". We didn't come to any conclusions, but we remarked on the simplicity of continuing our daily rountines in a foreign place.

I love learning about the culture in Lebanon - finding out what the younger and older gernerations do, tasting the food, listening to the music, observing tradtions. But the simplicity of turning on iTunes and listening to music that I grew up with and feeling completely at home, really gets me.

If I did not have all the conveniences, would I have completely changes my preferences due to limited choice? Who knows. It's easy for me to say yes as I continue to listen to John Denver - but I don't have to make a choice. I have to exist in another culture, but Lebanon is nowhere near forcing me to accept all of its peculiarities.

Again, I am amazed at how easy it was for us to settle down comfortably. And that I can be myself and indulge in music, food, etc that I love.

Not to say that I am not participating or exposing myself to aspects of Lebanese culture. It is just great that I can add those things to my preferences.

Anyway, its bedtime. As the younger generation of Beirut is beginning their night, I'm off to bed to get my required 7 hours of sleep. Until next time...